Unknitting

While on a conference call today with my beautiful Body Trust ® Cohort #4 (I am also part of Cohort #3 but that's a whole 'nother story I'll save for a later date), I was doing what I’m often doing, while sitting, while listening, while riding in a car, while watching TV... doing what keeps me grounded... knitting. This Girl's always got knit ta do Chile!

As I was listening, talking and knitting, I got caught up in the conversation while not missing a beat (nor a stitch) on my knitting. I was so happy to be connecting with my colleagues. By the end of the phone call, I looked down at my project and discovered that I had begun to knit in the round, which was not what I was going for since I was starting a baby blanket for my great nephew.

So there I was, connecting my yarn in a way that I did not intend. This is so much like life, right?!? Doing or not doing what we intended or didn't intend to do. Learning what we didn't intend to learn. Being how we didn't intend to be.

I had to correct the process without damaging my project. I had to un-knit.

As I proceeded to unknit back to the point where the error was made, I was inspired and wrote this poem.

 

Unknitting

Knitting

Feeling the beautiful soft yarn

Helping me to feel 

The feels of my feelings

 

Casting on to a rod

Holding on for dear life

Needing softness and strength 

To keep me connected 

 

I began to knit

With the view of the script

The tried and tested patterns

Often hard for me to follow

 

I am curious 

Yet knowing 

I will have to knit 

My project, my passions, my problems, my past

My intentions 

In my artistically authentic way

 

Free styling this bitch

Excuse me, this stitch

Or the evolution of a new

Stitch ‘n Bitch®

It’s a real thing y’all

A movement of feminist groups and books

Reclaiming the art of knitting

While daring to be different 

 

Yet those caught up on the word

Will sadly miss the point

 

The point is in my knitting needles 

And the point is in me

And the point gets stuck 

In twisted skeins of you

In pretty variegated yarn

In scratchy bundles that itch

Rolled balls too delicate 

Laws and patterns too hard to work

Like Lamb’s wool

The process can be felted and strong 

Holding the container 

The burdens of our nations

 

The point is also in my totes full of yarn

The different weights and types 

That are crocheted  and knit together in Love

 

The point is in the true poetry 

That the hook

And the needles 

And the lines of threads

Collectively create as they commune

 

I was also once caught up

On the words of works

But now I’ve been freed

By transforming grace

 

Yet this grace

Doesn’t prevent me from making mistakes

Bleeps and bloopers 

Not intended to offend

Nor to entertain 

 

That tapestry covers me

Every time I get in my own way

Every single time

I trip over my feet

Or accidentally or intentionally step on your toes

Which happens at least

Seven times a day

 

Sometimes 

When I look at what I have knitted

What’s been hooked and learned 

The afghans and throws 

That have covered my frame

I realize that I have committed 

The biggest sin of all

I’ve been knitting a routine 

Not calling a thing a thing

 

So I must stop

Name that bitch 

Release that stitch 

And let it go

The unraveling was never mine

Nor yours to determine 

 

The point is

That I’m forgiving 

Unstitching 

Unknitting 

Unbitching

As the gratitudes of my unlearning

Creates new arts of being whole

 

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Copyright June 8, 2018 | Angela Braxton-Johnson | All Rights Reserved